I write about this not because I don't judge others, but because I want to stop judging others. I don't enjoy looking down on someone for something they said or did. I know many girls and guys who seem to take entertainment in letting everyone know who did what and how that person should be and all of this gossipy nonsense. As entertaining as it might be to hear a juicy story, gossip transcends the barrier of a person's internal thoughts and ideas. It questions a person's judgments and actions without knowledge of the reasons behind the actions. No one can know what someone else is thinking, unless they're Edward Cullen, so no one can know what is in a person's heart. I believe in second chances. If a person does something wrong from my perspective, I won't keep that action as a permanent reminder of what kind of a person that person is. I think if someone decides to learn from a mistake then who am I to discourage them.
There are some people who I do put a non-permanent label on for my own safety, especially now that I am entering into my dating years. For instance, I know who most of the "players" at my school are and will be very careful not to do anything more than be kind to them until they have proven to not be the type to kiss-and-run. I also put a fluid label on boys my age in general. To be honest, most of them are bozos. From what I've observed, guys my age just want to get a kiss and have a girlfriend to show off. Those guys usually are not looking to their future careers and making a huge effort in their education. There are also the guys who do not have girlfriends, but are open to having one if there is a girl willing, with that same mind set. There are some guys, however, who have proven me wrong and give me hope that not all guys are bozos. Those guys are the ones who are kind and respectful to girls, not afraid to be just their friend without the boyfriend-girlfriend drama and have their mind on the gospel and their education. The guys who are involved in their community and/or school and don't sit around wondering what the next momentary pleasure will be are the ones I want to date as I turn 16. The ones who I can talk to without feeling pressured into a more-than-friends relationship.
This is why I have decided not to have a serious boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in high school.
My friends often point out the romantic side of having a boyfriend and doing all sorts of cute things in preparation for the day when you will meet the one and only. I do often fantasize about the time when I will meet the guy I will marry, but until then I don't want to spend all my time just thinking about him. I figure when the time is right he'll be ready for me and I'll be ready for him. Sometimes I wonder if I have already met the guy I will marry and by not having a boyfriend I may be delaying all the romantic moments we could have. I am starting to realize that the ideal romantic stuff won't happen in high school. The super romantic stuff is supposed to be for a time when I am more mature and can handle it. Right now I need to focus on my goals and preparing myself for my future. I need to focus on school and gaining skills that will benefit me for the rest of my life. Having a boyfriend will distract me from these goals and may even deter me on my pathway to my happily ever after. It's not that I don't think guys aren't fun to be around and that guys aren't cute or anything; I just think my Mr. right can and will wait for me if he is my Mr. right.
For now I hope I can meet many guys and become friends with them. I also hope that I will also be able to meet many more guys that are not bozos. I may have high requirements for the guys I want to get to know, but I think in the long run it will help me and them more that I realize right now. For now I will continue to follow the For the Strength of Youth booklet and listen to the guidance prophets give to me as I prepare myself to change the world by small and simple means.
