High School

High School. The gemstone of adolescence. It's all about the cliques, what Susan did with Bob and vainly trying to "find yourself".  I don't think the phrase "finding yourself" is accurate. You don't merely look through your closet and stumble upon an epiphany of who you are; you develop yourself. You are not playing a game of hide and seek with your soul; you develop your talents, discover what you enjoy and live life. One of the false notions I've always held was that I am subject to my circumstance. I am a Cinderella without her fairy godmother, waiting for Prince Charming. I'm starting to realize that there isn't going to be an epic moment where I'll find out who I am and what I'm destined to be. There isn't going to be a bippity-bopity-boo and "poof" I'm a princess. But that's the beauty of it. I decide. I don't rely on others to tell me what to do, what to be. I don't have to watch as life moves past me, idly standing by. I am the master of my own fate, NOT the stars. I don't just play the game, I create the game. True, there are other players, but I call the shots, not them. So I will not "find myself", because if I do it means that either someone else molded me into what they wanted or that I missed out on the uncertain, hopeful and excitingly suspenseful times of "creating myself". And so I walk through the High School halls, still thinking about cliques and what Susan did with Bob; but no longer am I searching. I am creating.